What Is a Baby Shower? A UK Guide to Baby Shower Traditions & Etiquette

Baby showers have become a familiar way to celebrate a new arrival in the UK, but if you've never been to one before, you might be wondering what actually happens.

Who organises a baby shower? When should you have one? Do you need to take a gift? How much should you spend? Are dads invited? And do you really have to play games involving nappies?

The good news is that modern baby showers don't come with many strict rules.

At their heart, they're simply an opportunity for friends and family to come together, celebrate the parents-to-be and share in the excitement of welcoming a new baby.

Whether you're planning a baby shower yourself or have just received your first invitation, here's what you need to know.

---

What Is a Baby Shower?

A baby shower is a celebration held for expectant parents before their baby arrives.

Friends and family gather to celebrate the pregnancy, spend time with the parents-to-be and, traditionally, give gifts for the new baby.

You might picture a beautifully decorated room filled with balloons, elaborate games and an enormous gift table, but baby showers can be as simple or elaborate as you like.

A baby shower could be:

• Afternoon tea with close friends and family
• Brunch at a restaurant
• A relaxed gathering at home
• A garden party
• A larger themed celebration
• A simple lunch with the people closest to you

There's no single "right" way to have one.

Are Baby Showers Popular in the UK?

Baby showers have become increasingly familiar in the UK, although individual families celebrate pregnancy in many different ways.

Some parents love the idea of gathering everyone together before the birth. Others prefer something very small, celebrate after baby arrives or don't have a baby shower at all.

You may also find that different generations have very different ideas about what a baby shower should involve.

That's absolutely fine.

Modern baby showers are less about following a particular tradition and more about creating a celebration that feels right for the parents-to-be.

When Should You Have a Baby Shower?

Baby showers are generally held during pregnancy.

There's no compulsory week, although many parents prefer to wait until later in the pregnancy while leaving enough time before the due date to comfortably enjoy the celebration.

When choosing a date, consider how the mum-to-be is feeling, how far guests need to travel and whether there are any other important appointments or commitments around that time.

And perhaps don't leave it too close to the due date.

Babies aren't particularly interested in carefully organised party schedules.

Who Organises the Baby Shower?

Traditionally, somebody close to the parents-to-be might organise the baby shower for them.

Today, it could be organised by:

• A sister or sibling
• Best friend
• Parent or grandparent-to-be
• Group of friends
• Colleagues
• Partner
• The parents-to-be themselves

And yes — you can absolutely organise your own baby shower.

There's no reason to wait hopefully for somebody else to suggest one if you'd genuinely enjoy having a celebration.

Who Should You Invite?

The guest list is entirely personal.

Some baby showers are intimate gatherings involving only a handful of close friends and family. Others are much bigger celebrations.

Think about who the parents genuinely want to share the occasion with rather than who you think you're supposed to invite.

And baby showers certainly don't need to be women-only.

Partners, dads, grandads, male friends, children and whole families can all be included.

It's your celebration. Your guest list can reflect that.

Do You Take a Gift to a Baby Shower?

Usually, guests do bring a gift, although it shouldn't be treated as an admission fee!

First, check the invitation.

The parents may have created a gift list, requested particular items, asked for contributions towards something larger or even said that they don't want gifts.

If there isn't a gift list, popular baby shower presents include:

• Nappy cakes
• Baby gift hampers
• Baby blankets
• Clothing
• Muslins
• Soft toys
• Baby books
• Keepsakes
• Bath-time gifts
• Personalised baby gifts
• Gifts for the mum-to-be or both parents

And you don't need to find the most elaborate gift in the room.

Something small and thoughtfully chosen can be every bit as lovely.

How Much Should You Spend on a Baby Shower Gift?

There is no standard amount you're expected to spend on a baby shower gift in the UK.

Your relationship with the parents, your own budget and whether you're buying individually or as part of a group will all influence what feels appropriate.

A colleague or acquaintance might choose a smaller present, while close family members may decide to spend more.

Friends or colleagues can also club together for a larger gift.

Most importantly, don't spend beyond what you can comfortably afford.

A thoughtful gift doesn't become more thoughtful simply because it has a bigger price tag.

What If You Don't Know What to Buy?

Ask.

Really!

There's nothing impersonal about saying:

"Is there anything you still need for the baby?"

The parents may already have six blankets but desperately need muslins, for example.

If you'd rather keep your gift a surprise, think about whether the parents would appreciate something practical, sentimental or a mixture of both.

And if you're completely stuck, our What Should I Buy for a Baby Shower? UK Gift Guide goes into much more detail about choosing the right present.

[Add internal link when live]

What Actually Happens at a Baby Shower?

Whatever you want!

Typically, there will be food and drinks, plenty of chatting and perhaps some photographs, gifts and baby shower games.

Some celebrations might include:

Afternoon tea
Brunch
Buffet or grazing table
Baby shower games
Gift opening
Keepsake activities
Crafts
Predictions for baby
Cake and desserts

But none of these things is compulsory.

You don't need to schedule every minute of the celebration.

Sometimes giving people time to sit, talk, eat and enjoy being together creates the nicest atmosphere.

Do You Have to Play Baby Shower Games?

No.

Some people adore them.

Some people would rather quietly disappear into the kitchen than participate in one.

If your guests enjoy games, two or three simple activities can be brilliant for breaking the ice — particularly if different groups of friends and family haven't met before.

You could try Baby Bingo, Guess the Baby Photo, Don't Say Baby or ask guests to make predictions about baby's arrival.

For more ideas, we've put together 10 Fun Baby Shower Games Your Guests Will Actually Want to Play.

[Add internal link when live]

If the parents-to-be hate games, however, skip them.

Nobody needs compulsory fun.

Can You Have a Baby Shower for a Second Baby?

Absolutely.

Every baby is worth celebrating.

Some people use the term "baby sprinkle" for a smaller celebration for a second or subsequent child, particularly when the family already owns many of the baby essentials they need.

But you certainly don't have to call it that.

You can have a baby shower for baby number two, three or beyond if that's how you'd like to celebrate.

You might simply find that gifts change slightly.

Instead of basic newborn essentials, guests could consider something personalised for the new baby, a keepsake, something for an older sibling or a treat for the parents.

Is a Baby Shower the Same as a Gender Reveal?

No, although some families combine them.

A baby shower celebrates the upcoming arrival of the baby and parents-to-be.

A gender reveal is centred around revealing or celebrating whether the parents are expecting a boy or girl.

You can have one, both, combine them or have neither.

Do Baby Showers Need a Theme?

Not at all.

A colour palette alone can be enough to make everything feel beautifully coordinated.

If you do want a theme, popular ideas include:

• Teddy bears
• Woodland animals
• Elephants
• Safari
• Storks
• Clouds and stars
• Florals
• Storybooks
• Traditional pink or blue
• Sage, cream and neutral tones

Your theme can influence the invitations, decorations, cake, table styling and even gifts, but don't feel as though every single element needs to match.

Sometimes a few thoughtful details are much more elegant than covering everything in the same motif.

Who Pays for a Baby Shower?

There isn't a universal rule.

If somebody offers to host a baby shower, they may cover some or all of the costs, or several friends and family members might contribute.

If the parents-to-be organise their own celebration, they may choose to pay themselves.

The important thing is to agree on the budget beforehand.

Baby showers don't need elaborate balloon installations, professional grazing tables and personalised everything to feel special.

Tea, cake and favourite people count too.

Should You Open Gifts at the Baby Shower?

Only if you want to.

Opening gifts together can be lovely because guests get to see the parents' reactions and explain the meaning behind something they've chosen.

However, with a large guest list it can take a long time, and some parents may feel uncomfortable opening presents in front of everybody.

There's no etiquette rule requiring it.

The parents can open gifts during the shower, open only a few or save everything until later.

What Should You Write in a Baby Shower Card?

You don't need to write an essay.

A warm message congratulating the parents-to-be and wishing them well for the baby's arrival is absolutely enough.

For example:

"Congratulations on your wonderful news. Wishing you so much happiness as you prepare to welcome your little one."

If you're particularly close to the parents, make it personal.

You could mention how excited you are to meet the baby, what wonderful parents you think they'll be or a special memory you share.

This is another topic we'll be adding to the Love & Tiers Library: What to Write in a Baby Shower Card.

What Should You Wear to a Baby Shower?

Unless the invitation specifies a dress code, think smart-casual and appropriate for the venue.

An afternoon tea at a hotel might call for something slightly dressier than a barbecue in somebody's garden.

If there's a theme or colour palette, the host may invite guests to dress accordingly — but otherwise there's no special baby-shower uniform required.

Should the Mum-to-Be Receive a Gift Too?

She certainly can.

Most baby shower presents understandably focus on the baby, but a small gift specifically for the mum-to-be can be incredibly thoughtful.

That might be something relaxing, something she'll enjoy after the birth or simply a little treat that acknowledges her as well as the baby.

You could also choose a hamper containing gifts for both baby and parents.

What About Baby Shower Favours?

Favours are completely optional.

If you'd like to give guests a small thank-you gift, keep it simple.

Chocolates, biscuits, candles, little packets of sweets or another small token can work beautifully.

You certainly don't need them.

Your guests are there to celebrate with you — they're not expecting a party bag on the way out.

A Baby Shower Should Feel Like the People You're Celebrating

Perhaps that's the most important piece of baby shower etiquette.

There is no checklist you need to complete for it to count.

Have the big celebration if that's what you'd love.

Invite ten people for afternoon tea if that feels more like you.

Play every baby shower game you can find.

Or don't play a single one.

Have an elaborate theme.

Or put some flowers on the table and order pizza.

A baby shower is simply an opportunity to gather the people you care about and celebrate a very special new chapter.

Make it yours.